What happens to your libido when you’re constantly rushing, overwhelmed and running on empty?
In this episode, Becca is joined by Tia Maher for an open conversation about libido, relationships and the nervous system, and why losing desire isn’t always as simple as blaming hormones.
Tia shares how building a successful business while constantly pushing for more affected her marriage and sex life, and why she eventually realised that perfectionism, stress and old patterns were following her into the bedroom.
They explore resentment in relationships, the mental load many women carry, communication, pleasure and what happens when your body doesn’t feel safe enough to switch off. They also discuss why surface-level fixes don’t always address what’s happening underneath and why nervous system regulation is about much more than breathwork and somatic tools.
In this episode you’ll learn:
- How chronic stress and overwhelm can affect libido
- Why resentment can have such a big impact on desire
- How perfectionism can follow you into your sex life
- Fight, flight, freeze and appease responses in relationships
- Why knowing your own patterns can change how you communicate
- The connection between emotional processing, pleasure and regulation
- Why nervous system tools alone may not change repeated patterns
Join the Rebalance Membership for practical support with female nervous system regulation, sleep, stress, emotional patterns and everyday habits: https://healthwithholland.com/r_membershp_/
CHAPTERS:
[00:00] Coming Up: Perfectionism, Libido & the Nervous System
[00:38] Why Stress & Overwhelm Can Affect Your Libido
[01:11] Meet Tia Maher
[03:06] Why Libido Drops When You’re Constantly Rushing
[04:44] Shame, Female Pleasure & Knowing Your Body
[08:34] Perfectionism, Achievement & Desire
[12:02] When Your Relationship Reaches Breaking Point
[13:18] Resentment & Low Libido
[16:04] How Communication Changes Relationship Dynamics
[20:00] Understanding Your Relationship Triggers
[22:19] Fight, Flight, Freeze & Appease in Relationships
[25:01] Why Surface-Level Libido Fixes Don’t Work
[27:32] How We Distract Ourselves From Difficult Emotions
[29:17] How to Start Changing Nervous System Patterns
[31:00] Why You Need to Feel Your Emotions
[34:02] Numbing Pain Can Also Numb Pleasure
[36:17] Nervous System Regulation Is More Than Breathwork
[38:53] Why Regulation Tools Aren’t Enough
[42:33] How Your Past Can Drive Present Patterns
[44:06] Why Modern Life Makes Regulation Harder
[47:45] Where to Find Tia Maher
[48:20] Becca’s Final Takeaway & Rebalance Membership
CONNECT & LEARN MORE:
Becca Holland
You can connect with me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and YouTube, where I share practical education on nervous system regulation, women’s health and sustainable behaviour change.
If you enjoyed this episode, I’d really appreciate you subscribing, leaving a review or sharing it with someone who might find it helpful.
Ready to go deeper?
Join the Rebalance Membership for simple, practical support with nervous system regulation, sleep and building habits that support your body: https://healthwithholland.com/r_membershp_/
You’ll also find courses, resources and more podcast episodes at: healthwithholland.com
Tia Maher
Follow Tia on Instagram at @iamtiamaher for more on nervous system patterns, relationships, libido and personal growth.
Join The Weekly Undress, Tia’s weekly email:
tiamaher.com/theweeklyundress
Listen to Tia’s podcast, Wealthy and Worthy.
If you enjoyed this episode, I’d really appreciate you subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who might find it helpful.
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